Yeah, it's a real thing. People celebrate it. Go out. Have drinks. Relay memories of the last year with their closest. Right now I'm pretty stuck on how hard last year went. I honestly feel like I've had the privilege of accomplishing so much in this city since my arrival three years ago. The amount of inspiration is irreplaceable. Last year was something else. Great. Overwhelming. Emotional. Spiritual. Monumental. Epic. Eye opening. Trying. It was a fucking battle where in which I was the victor. Proud of my labors and savory every moment they afforded me. The quality of life out here can be a huge obstacle for a native Californian. So used to our laid back approach to all that is life. Being introduced to this city can have you feeling like you're tearing at the seams. I know that's how I felt. Like there was so much to take in and so much to process, that I was bound to lose my mind. And gradually I began to understand that "New York Hustle/Money." Perhaps its not a New York thing. Maybe I just matured into a capitalistic savage under the bright lights of a city that doesn't sleep. I know that sounds crazy but I think it has some sort of truth. I've made close to 100 t-shirts in my day. And I've only sold maybe 5. All the rest were given to appreciators, homies, and loved ones. Shit, I even hit off a couple of total strangers. I've never felt as though I was in competition with anyone but myself. And yet my own best just got MUCH better. Keeping up with the Paisa1er of my last ny year is going to take quite a bit hustle. With hustle comes stress. With stress comes headaches. With headaches comes discouragement. And by overcoming, you are granted TOTAL ELATION. An out of body experience matched by no combination of drugs or alcohol. We all need that feeling. This is something I personally need to remember. I know I myself get caught up in the whirlwind of toxins. This is a reoccurring issue among myself and many of my closest friends.... Some of which are my brothers in this Familia known as Focho. I know life can stomp the fight out of person in a New York minute. And sometimes the only way to "feel" alive is to intoxicate yourself. Yes, this is by definition, an addict. So what's the recourse? Finding a balance between toxins, inspiration, occupation and motivation is all I can come up with at the moment. Getting wasted can put inspiration (or a false sense of it) straight into the fast lane. But it will stagger your work. Your occupation. And your motivation... Well I guess that depends on how much control you have. Knowing we're all one an others greatest enablers is a double edge sword. Fuck yeah LET'S PARTY.. And then not get shit done. Or watch one another fall off.. All bad. Stop killing each other. I've been dying to write this particular rant and it looks like my 3 year ny anni has become my outlet. I don't want to preach tough so ill wrap it up... I know I got family back home going through hella much right now. Just know I got your back no matter how far I may be. We're all we got. Rally behind one another and be each others support system.
Stay strong. I miss you and I love you.